Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
