so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
How's work?
Spinning.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
