I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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