I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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