Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
