Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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