My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
