I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
