Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
