I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
