what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
