sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
cat food counts as protein by the way
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
