hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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