used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
