Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
