How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
