oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
