Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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