Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
