yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
