I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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