I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
What did we do last night that was yellow?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
