gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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