Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
