Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
