I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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