The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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