Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
