FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
