I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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