i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
