I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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