Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
