goodnight i made you a song goodbye
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
