and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm experimenting with sincerity
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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