Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
