Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I wish i was in the wii world.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
did you just send me my own nude
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
