oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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