whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
