Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Boobs are out for the taking
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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