there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
