your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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