I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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