So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
