hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
