You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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