i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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