So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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