How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
