you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
